Humorous Karaoke Word Play
Auxpareoke - Getting caught with your girlfriend by your
wife at the local karaoke bar.
Barelyoke - When someone sings into the mic but you still can't hear them.
Bareoke - Singing au naturel (in the buff).
Blareoke - When the music is WAY TOO LOUD!
Bloodymaryoke - Any show that lasts until daylight.
Brokey-oke - Singing withdrawals suffered the weekend before you get paid.
Buryoke - Any song that has been done to death and is pulled from the lists.
Carry-No-Key - A description of bad singers.
Chairoke - A person who sits to sing so they can hide behind the monitor.
Cherryoke - A first time karaoke singer.
Dareoke - A "friend" picks out a song that you have never tried.
Derrieroke - Randomly pulling a song title out of your butt and trying to sing
it.
Fairoke - When a new song turns out to be OK and you'll try it again.
Fareoke - A venue that charges you to sing or makes you pay a cover charge.
Frustrateoke - Trying to hear the singer on the mic above the off-key person
next to you.
Gerioke - Karaoke for the elderly.
Glareoke - Unable to read the monitor because there is a spotlight in your
face.
Guessaoke - When you thought you know a song by heart and mess up the words.
HariKari-oke - Equating the fear of singing with suicide.
Holyoke - Gospel music at a bar.
Impairaoke - When dancers on the floor block your view of the monitor.
KA (Karaokians Anonymous) - A recovery group for Karaoke Junkies.
KDT's - What a Karaokian goes through if unable to sing karaoke once a week.
Karaokia - A planet where Karaoke Junkies are born, live, and prosper singing
karaoke 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Karaokian - A resident of Karaokia.
Karaokian Follower - Believing there "really" is a planet named
Karaokia and your "Mother Ship" is coming back for you.
Karaoke Junkie - One who "must" sing karaoke at least once a week or
they'll "die".
Kamikazi-oke - Sliding your finger down the catalog list and diving into it
unprepared.
KaraChainSmokie - A nervous condition that occurs before trying out a new song.
Karachokie - Having to end a verse short due to saliva going down the wrong
tube.
Karanookie - What every guy prays for after any given night of singing.
Karaslowpokie - A KJ who takes forever to get the next song up.
Karasmokie - A KJ who abuses the fog machine, making it impossible to sing.
Karateoke - When a singer does an Elvis song with leg kicks, arm thrusts, etc.
Karayuckie - The song that makes you run for the bathroom or a smoke break.
Naryoke - A town that doesn't have a karaoke venue.
Nearoke - You set up the show and no one will sing.
Not-there-eoke - When the next person you call up has left without telling the
KJ.
Prairieoke - Too many country songs in a row.
Retalioke - When you laughed at a singer and he waited out back to kick your
butt.
Scaryoke - Attempting a song for the first time and you're pretty sure it's
gonna' suck.
Scateoke - The uncontrollable urge to improvise during musical breaks.
Shareoke - When you and some friends "tag-team" through a song.
Shareoke(2) - Wandering around with a cordless mic to get others to sing with
you.
Stareaoke - Waiting for the gal in the super-low cut blouse to take a bow after
her song.
Solitaireoke - When the KJ is forced to sing 'cause there are no sign-ups.
Sorryoke - Events that make you wish you had stayed at home.
Speedaroke - Getting as many singers up as possible in the last hour of the
gig.
Stumbleaoke - Tripping while going up on stage to sing.
Swearoke - Someone who changes the lyrics in order to cuss for the hell of it.
Swearoke(2) - Any song sung deliberately to offend.
Tokoyokie - Walking into an all Japanese sing along.
Unfairoke - The person who always complains after losing a contest.
Waryoke - You get up to sing in a group song but no way will you get near the
mic.
Wastoidoke - Someone who is too drunk to sing.
Wearyoke - The third time you hear the same songin a single night.
Whereoke - Frantic search for a singing fix when a karaoke junkie visits a new
town.
Whoreoke - A person who offers sex for an extra turn in the rotation.
You Might Be A Karaoke Junkie If...
1. You've ever burned up a car to
get to karaoke.
2. You're broke all the time.
3. You clap when a song finishes on the radio.
4. You ever wake up from a sound sleep clapping.
5. Strangers walk up to you in Wal-Mart and compliment you on your singing.
6. People you don't know ask, "Aren't you the karaoke dude?"
7. You get raving mad when you are accidentally skipped in the rotation.
8. Songs on the radio don't sound right because Ernest or Roger aren't singing
them.
9. You hear a song on the radio and think, that's number7-12.
10. You don't wear "the hat" and nobody knows you.
11. Somebody says, "why don't we leave early?" and the whole crowd
gasps (and early is 12:30 pm).
12. You refer to "my list" ten months after you've sold out.
13. You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical ramifications of
"AMERICAN PIE".
14. You go to a concert and wonder when they're gonna call you up to sing.
15. You go to a concert and all the time you're thinking "I could do
that"
16. You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips.
17. Last call comes and you say "But I'm not through singing yet!"
18. You've ever been taken home passed out in the back of a 69 Cadillac hearse.
19. You've ever ripped the door off a bar.
20. You have laryngitis and you still try to sing.
21. Blue drinks turn you into the INCREDIBLE HULK.
22. You know you've got to get up at 6:30 am and you still close the bar down.
23. There's 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on the roads and where are
you? THE KARAOKE BAR!
24. You think "life without the role" are really the words.
25. Someone asks you if you have a slip, and they're not talking about
underwear!
26. Someone is writing "WHAT IF" lists during karaoke.
27. You remember the number of over two songs by memory.
28. You know everybody's first name-and you don't know what the hell their last
names are.
29. You know the location of every motel within five miles of the bar.
30. You don't remember the names of any waitresses before Sharon Peters.
31. You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50 miles of your house.
32. When you're not at the karaoke bar by 10: 30 people call your house to find
out what's wrong.
33. You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.
34. Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.
35. Someone suggests going dancing instead and you're appalled.
36. Your stock reply is "you mean there's a bowling alley here."
37. That commercial on TV that makes fun of karaoke really pisses you off.
38. You see karaoke on TV and you think "That's not the way it's
done!"
39. You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."
40. It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the
"regulars" table.
41. You get pissed when someone else is sitting in your place.
42. You throw up on somebody's car---and they understand.
43. You get pissed when someone sings "your song".
44. The songs, "LOVE SHACK", "FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES", and
"AMERICAN PIE" really annoy you (unless of course YOU want to sing
them).
45. Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and you know
what they're talking about.
46. The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or
sex.
47. You've ever browsed the "net" under the heading
"KARAOKE".
48. You've ever called a wrecker to take you and your car to KARAOKE(hey it was
contest night O. K.!)
49. You think it's a compliment when someone dedicates "THE BITCH IS
BACK" to you.
50. A new person who sings well is automatically your friend.
51. Your new best friend is somebody who does the same type songs as you.
52. You can't name five presidents,---BUT you know all the members of KISS and
the EAGLES.
53. The whole bar yells "OH SHIT" when you're called to sing.
54. You know the entire intro to "BABY'S GOT BACK".
55. You start believing your middle name is "lucy" or
"louise".
56. You hear "what's this fat f---er going to sing?" And you're
determined to sing them under the table.
57. Anyone has ever suggested therapy.
58. You've picked karaoke songs to be sung at your funeral (wife says this ain'
t happening)--------BITCH.
59. You wonder what ever happened to what's-his-name, you know he sang _____?
60. You've ever received an emergency call at the bar.
61. You think you sound better than the original.
62. You can still sit still after listening to "LOVE SHACK" 5,000
times.
63. Someone throws up because you sang too much ELTON JOHN.
64. You think you can never sing too much ELTON JOHN.
65. Someone suggests an after party and you ask "do you have a karaoke
machine?"
66. You can't remember the words to a song you've heard all your life without
"the screen".
67. You and three other people have sung "FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES"
after the karaoke has closed down.
68. The first thing you think when you hear a new song
on the radio is "when is this coming out on karaoke?"
69. You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk.
70. You buy a karaoke disk for one song---burning 14 other songs.
71. You try to learn 14 songs you don't really lik.e
72. You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords.
73. It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye.
74. Your best friend has to hold you up to sing your last song, and you never
miss a note (hey it was TWIST OFF night O. K.!)
75. You can't sing until you're nice and toasty.
76. The high point of your week is when the bar gets a new disk.
77. You cant stand up or walk but you never miss a note.
78. You feel cheated if they don't get karaoke started at 9:00 sharp "bar
time".
79. The term kamikaze has nothing to do with japan or planes.
80. Your house guests get to your house 1-1/2 hours before you do.
81. You're a woman but you're still willing to sing the guys part.
82. You're a guy but your still willing to sing Barbara's part in "NO MORE
TEARS"
Karaoke Dictionary
ACCOMPANIST - Someone who always has to play an instrument
(i.e. harmonica), bang on the table or clap along during one’s song.
AQUAMOOCH - Someone who goes to karaoke and drinks only water to avoid spending
money… Can easily be identified, as they are usually the biggest complainers
about the rotation.
ARHYTHMIA IDIOTICA - The one guy who always claps out of rhythm with the rest
of the crowd, just to annoy others.
AUDIO DEFICIT - When the music fades out, but words are still left on the
screen to sing.
AUDIO REPEATUS - Hearing the same some twice in one night.
AUDIOMANIAC - A KJ that runs back and forth, adjusting the sound every minute
as if they were running the Boston Marathon.
AUDIOPHOOL - Someone who knows nothing about audio, but always tries to tell
the KJ how to run the sound.
AUDITORY DELUSION - When someone actually thinks cupping their hand over their
ear makes them sound better.
BARELYOKE - When someone sings into the microphone and you still can’t hear
them.
BATHROOM BREAK - A song, whenever performed, no matter how well performed,
induces a customer, or customers to head to the bathroom, outside, or anywhere
else away from the karaoke singing space.
BLAREOKE - When it’s obvious that the music is TOO DAMN LOUD!!!
BLOODYMARYOKE - Any show that lasts until daylight.
BOHEMIA NERVOSA - The irresistible urge to bang one’s head in the instrumental
break of Bohemian Rhapsody.
BOOGIE COMPULSION - A disorder, which compels otherwise conservative
individuals to stampede blindly to the dance floor when someone sings “Play
that funky music”.
CAVE DWELLER - Someone who wraps their hand around the mic, thinking it looks
cool, completely unaware that it makes their voice sound like they’re singing
“Aqualung”.
CHAIREOKE - Any person who has to sit down while they sing so that they can
effectively hide behind the monitor.
CLAPPUS ALONUS - When you are the only one clapping.
CLAPPUS FALSALARMUS - Accidentally
clapping for the dance music. This is usually paired with the aforementioned
CLAPPUS ALONUS and usually followed by CLAPPUS INTERUPTUS.
CLAPPUS INTERUPTUS - Clapping, then suddenly stopping because the song isn’t
over.
COURTESY CLAP - Applause that only happens because the audience is glad the
song is over.
DANCE RE-MIX - A disc, that always skips during a performance.
DAREOKE - Similar to SCARYOKE, but it was your friend that picked the song.
DEDICATION - Any ballad sung in hopes of gaining female companionship for the
evening.
DORKAPELLA - Someone who continues to
sing even when the song is over, and refuses to stop until the KJ or the next
singer grabs the mic from them.
DOUBLE TAKE
A singer who always misses the first part of the song, and the host has to
start it over.
DRAFT CARD - A request slip with someone’s name on it who has not volunteered
to sing.
DRIVE-BY - Cruising past a show trying to estimate how big the rotation is
without making the “commitment” of walking in.
FAREOKE - A venue that charges you to sing and /or makes you pay a cover charge
to get in.
FAKE VIRGIN - A person performing on a karaoke stage claiming to be on stage
for the first time, but has sung in front of audiences before.
FAUX BOOST - The act of complimenting a singer’s not so good performance.
FIRE DRILL - Any song that causes a large group of people to head for the
nearest exit.
GERMICROPHOBIA - The fear of “catching something” from the last singer by using
the same microphone…resulting in the singer trying any of a dozen “sneaky” ways
to wipe off the mic.
GHOST SINGER - A person who puts in a song, promptly disappears until they are
called, then mysteriously re-appears.
GLAREOKE - Unable to read the monitor because the KJ positioned a spotlight
right in your face.
HAILMARYOKE - When an overly pious individual approaches you to pray for your
soul after you have sung and offensive song.
HAIRYOKE - Sorry, only 80’s metal singers allowed.
HARIKARIOKE - Equating the fear of karaoke with suicide.
HIT AND RUN - Someone who hangs around just long enough to sing, then vaporizes
without a word.
HOLLYWOOD KISSES - The annoying, plastic comments intended to gain favor from a
KJ…(often recognizable because of the repeated use of the word “Really”).
HOMOCIDE - When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before
(see suicide), and knows from the very start that the performance will be quite
bad.
HUNTING SEASON - The time where people who don’t normally go to certain karaoke
show will go, IF THERE’S A CONTEST.
I-DON’TCAREOKE - Singing for a dead crowd.
ILLUSIONIST - A singer whose voice is in complete conflict with their
looks….(Example, she’s dressed like Patsy Cline, and next thing you know she
breaks out with the Guns ‘N Roses).
IMPAIRAOKE - When dancers on the floor or other singers block you view of the
TV monitor.
IRRITAGENT - A non-singer who represents their “friend” to the host…and tries
to get the KJ to move them up because they are “so much better a singer than
all the rest of these guys”.
KARABOO - The discouraged practice of letting a singer know that despite what
the host said, the singer actually stank to high hell!
KARACHOKIE - When you try a song you’ve never done before, and blow it badly.
KARAADULTERY - Someone who sings a duet with one person and leaves the bar with
another.
KARAFLARE - The act of flicking cigarette lighters or matches in order to pay
homage to a particular song.
KARAGLYPHICS -Unreadable scribbling on a song request slip.
KARAHOKIE - Those so called “standards” which are so far out that no one in
their right mind ever does them.
KARAHOOCHIE - A singer, usually of the female persuasion that gets way too
friendly with the KJ, not caring if they are attached, or if their significant
other is in the bar at the time.
KARALLOQUIAL DIALECT - The different ways to pronounce the word “Karaoke” based
on what region a person is from.
KARAMPUTEE - Someone who’s been cut out of rotation for one reason or another.
KARAMUCK - The unidentifiable substance between the pages in a songbook which
causes them to stick together.
KARANDROGYNOUS - Being able to sing male and female parts of certain songs.
KARAOKE - What pall bearers do at a funeral in Oklahoma.
KARAOKE ALZHEIMERS - A singer turns in a song, then 5 minutes later comes up
and asks the KJ what they put in.
KARAOKE PARANOIA - A condition which makes a singer go up every 3 minutes to
ask when they’re up.
KARAOKE STUTTERER - Someone who tries to sing along to a skipping disc.
KARAOKEPHOBIA - When someone is so scared of karaoke, that they push the book
away from them as if it were and odious thing will metaphysically transport
them on stage if they open it.
KARA-OPIE - That annoying kid who shows up every week and bellows into the mic
while adoring parent(s) look on as the rest of the place holds their ears.
KARAOGRE - The loner who never talks to anyone, never sits with anyone and is
always a grouch.
KARACUTIE - The girl who sings gawdawful, but is so darn cute all the guys
don’t care and cheer her on.
KARAP - Any song that makes you want to KARABOO.
KARASLINKY - A microphone cord which refuses to straighten out, no matter which
way you try to unwind it.
KARASMOKIE - A KJ who abuses the fog machine, making it impossible to breath or
see your mic.
KARASOAPIES - Those people who cannot resist telling you all about the latest
trials and tribulations in their lives.
KARAENEMA - The art of pulling a song out of your a** when you least expect it.
KROAKIE - A singer who did Mariah Carey at the show the night before, and is
now limited to Joe Cocker and Kim Carnes tunes.
LAYAWAY - Someone who turns in a blank request slip just to get into rotation.
LIQUID COURAGE - Any alcoholic beverage that facilitates a singer coming up on
stage.
LYRICTOSIS - A dreaded disease contracted by karaoke software manufactures who
get the lyrics ridiculously wrong.
MALSETTO - Singers who “breathe” their way through a power song.
MARTINESQUE - The type of singer that sings while simultaneously holding a
drink and a cigarette in their free hand.
McMICROPHONE - A mic of such low quality that, instead of clapping, the
audience asks a singer if they could “have some fries with that”.
MILLI VANILLI - A singer that goes up with another person, then won’t take the
microphone, and just stands there and mouths the words the whole time.
MILLIONAIREOKE - An independently wealthy singer who has no other job besides
owning a car lot.
MONDEGREEN (AN ACTUAL TERM) - Printed lyrics on CDG’s that sound similar to,
but are in fact not the real lyrics of a given song.
NE’EROKE - You set up the show and no one will sing.
NICOMAGNETISM - The mysterious quality of cigarette smoke to waft towards the
singers at the table, regardless of position.
NOM DE MIC - A fake name someone uses to cheat their way to the top of the
rotation.
NOTHEREOKE - When the nest person you call up has left without telling you.
ORPHAN - A person who was “ditched” by their friends and inevitably ends up
asking the KJ for a ride home.
OVERMODULATOR - A singer who constantly screams into the microphone. Everything
they sing sounds like it’s being performed by Megadeth…even “The Rose”.
PARTYTIMEOKE - When you just go out to sing, get drunk, fall down and get up
and sing some more.
PHLEGMIC CELLULOSE - That unidentified moist substance that breeds in
microphone covers.
PITCHFORKING - Changing the key of a song so radically that the background
singers sound like they’re either on Quaaludes or helium.
PORT-A-POTTY - Taking the wireless mic into the bathroom in order to avoid “tap
dancing”.
PRAIRIEOKE - Too many country songs in a row.
PREMATURE CLAP - Clapping before the song is actually over.
PROJECTION IMPAIRED - When a singer sings so quietly that a KJ has to turn the
mic up to the point of feedback.
PROOFREADER - Someone who always has to point out the typos in the songbook.
PSEUDOHOST - A singer who tries to act like a KJ, but is completely devoid of
“people skills”.
QUICK CHANGE ARTIST - Someone who changes their song more than 3 times a
night…usually right before they sing.
RAREOKE - Singing a Sound Choice Eagles song.
RECYCLER -Someone who changes their mind and scratches out their song so many
times, that eventually they are forced to use the back of the request form.
REPEAT OFFENDER - Someone who pipes up with a cliché like “Is this thing on?”
Thinking it’s funny….completely unaware that hundreds of other people have
already said it that night.
ROTATION - The order in which customers of karaoke establishments will sing.
Usually determined by the order in which customers make requests to sing and
altered by additions of customers arriving later at the establishment than
others. If used correctly and ethically time on stage will be allocated fairly
to all people who wish to sing.
ROTATIONIRRATATUS - Happens when you see the same person singing 12 duets in
one rotation and there are only 13 singers!
SCAMMEROKE - Singing behind the scene to make your friend sound much better
than they are.
SCARYOKE - Attempting a song for the first time and you’re pretty sure it’s
gonna suck.
SHAREOKE - When you and some of your friends “tag-team” through a song, or you
wander around with a cordless mic and get others to sing with you.
SNOOZYOKE - Condition caused by too many slow songs in one rotation.
SOLITAREOKE - When the KJ is forced to sing back to back because there are no
sign ups yet.
SPECIAL REQUEST - The most common excuse for a host to sing in a 50 person
rotations, even though the person requesting the song will never be identified.
STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONED - The extremely drunk singer who always wanders off
right before their turn, and their friends who is sent to go find them.
STAREEOKE - The local drunk’s awkward first encounter with singing and
attempting to follow the words on the screen.
SUICIDE - When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before.
SWEARINOKE - Someone who changes the songs lyrics in order to cuss just for the
hell of it.
SWEAROKE - Any song sung deliberately to offend.
TAP DANCER - Someone who didn’t make it to the bathroom before their song came
up.
THE DARK SIDE OF KARAOKE - People who take karaoke TOO SERIOUSLY and cleave to
it to fill deep emotional voids. If it weren’t for karaoke, they’d be on the
rooftop with an AK-47. “Dark-Siders” can be easily be identified by dropping by
a location 3 hours before the show starts, they’ll be sitting there waiting.
THE EEBIE FREEBIES - That unnerving and irritating feeling a bartender gets
when a water drinker sits down at the bar.
THE NUTCRACKER SWEAT - The terror experienced by a male singer before singing
any Peter Cetera song.
TITLEIST - Someone who calls themselves the “QUEEN” or “KING” of karaoke, but
usually sings like Roseanne Barr.
TOKIOKE - Refers to anyone trying to sing while stoned or on a hallucinogens.
TUTOR - Someone who always has to help others fill out their request slips and
find songs.
TYPHOID KARY - Any idiot who sings with a communicable illness.
ULTRASONIC - Songs that are so high that only dogs can hear them (anything by
Mariah Carey).
UNFAIROKE - The person who complains after losing a contest.
VIBRATO NON GRATA - ‘Trilling’ your voice inappropriately on every note of a
song, to the point that you sound like you’re singing in an earthquake.
VIRGIN - A person performing on a karaoke stage for the first time ever in
their life.
WANNARODIE - People who insist on trying to help break down equipment, over the
objections of the host.
WARYOKE - You get up to sing in a group song but no way, no how will you get
near the mic.
WEARYOKE - The third time you hear “Goodbye Earl” in a single night (feel free
to insert your favorite song here).
WHEREEOKE - The frantic search for a singing fix when a karaoke junkie visits a
new town.
